So there’s only one channel in this motel,

robbidybobbin:

madeofmetals:

This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street.

They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.

Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”

LITERALLY MY FAVORITE STORY ON ALL OF TUMBLR.

14th2:

aiclan:

afrogay:

if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited 

if

great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die

madturbating:

today in theater someone asked my friend if he was pro gay and he was like “im not pro gay but im not amateur gay either”

lookslikeazipper:

Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT

I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON

HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF

AM I DREAMING